When you finished grocery shopping, and are waiting in the line with your kids, there is something that accost’s you at every angle. Provocatively dressed woman, air-brushed to perfection. How do you explain these to your inquisitive daughter when she asks why all the pretty ladies are wearing hardly any clothes? Much less, explaining what they are talking about when she is old enough to read all of the article headlines, (that’s a blog in and of itself!)
How can I teach my daughter it’s about what’s on the inside that counts, if I say things like, “I need to lose weight,” “I look so fat in that picture,” “I wish I had hair like her,” and “I hate all my wrinkles, and stretch marks!” Of course, we never think about what we are saying to our daughter when we lament our issues. But, all those comments just lend credence to what’s on the front cover of the Women’s magazines. We are agreeing with the world’s view of beauty, that what’s on the outside matters most! If it really is about what’s on the inside that makes us so beautiful, then comments like this would be tumbling out: ”I need to work on being more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled,” NOT, “I need to eat less,” “I’m so fat!” “I hate… about my body.”
Every self-loathing comment we make, she is internalizing. Every word we say on losing those extra pounds to look good in some dress, she is filing away in her innocent mind. She will take it out one day, and examine it all later when she starts to notice what is considered beautiful by the world. She will see the differences between her, and that perfect image that stares off the magazine cover at her, that she can never hope to obtain. She will remember how much her Mommy hated her own body too.
I have really had to make an effort to say more things like, ”I need to eat healthier, so that is why I am having a salad instead,” or “She has beautiful hair, but I like the way my hair looks too,” and “Wow! She must eat very healthy, and exercise a lot to look like that!” Not only do I make a concerted effort to say these things, but to think them as well. These negative thoughts we have about our self-image, only come from the Enemy. We must remember that “…out of the overflow of [our] heart [our] mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45) We spill forth those self-hating thoughts, and our precious little girls are listening. They are desperately looking to us to teach them the confidence we should have in who we are, as daughters of the “King.” Dear Lord, please help me live with the confidence as a daughter of the King!
